Captain Nemo

burda-captain-nemo

  • Who is onboard the ship?
  • Who is Captain Nemo?
  • Where did the robot come from?
  • What is it doing?
  • Why is it in the water? Will the water damage it?
  • How would you feel if you were on the ship?
  • What will happen next?

Credit: Alejandro Burdisio/Burda
https://www.facebook.com/alejandroburdisio/

11 Comments
  • Lola
    Posted at 09:27h, 14 January Reply

    It was 13th April 1896, my first time out a sea. That morning huge waves appeared In the sea, but there was no wind. I wasn’t scared, I was pumped maybe slightly nervous but I was still excited. As the time got closer and closer, the waves got bigger (like monsters) as they crashed onto the shore. As the clock struck twelve , I was on the ships deck waving a farewell to my family. My Father glanced at me with a dirty look, he didn’t want me to be a sailor, he wanted me to work in his factory making weapons but that’s not how I waned to live my life.
    We were off! Sailing across the English channel all the way over to France. It wasn’t going to take long. 4 to 5 days, maybe more maybe less, but I didn’t care. The first 1 hour of the trip I was still full of excitement, but the 2nd hour I started to get an ice cold chill slithering up the back of my spine. It felt like something was leaning over me. I heard a disdent scream coming from the front of the ship. “Captain over bored, Captain ov….” A small boy with chesnut brown hair came stumbling in. He was only 12, he shouldn’t be on this ship. The bottom of his shorts were wet through and the back of his top was ripped and torn to pieces. He turned around very slowly and so I followed. A huge mechanical machine, I don’t know what to call it but it was a killing machine. Its eyes were light blue that seamed to flicker when the waves reached up to his thighs. Suddenly he started to look sort of innocent and weak, its eyes turned black. He was going to faint. I pick the boy up by the waist and ran down to the bedrooms, it was the only way he was going to survive, “Don’t worry, stay here.” He nodded his head in disbelief.
    As I started run back up to the deck, I remembered the boys eyes as I left him, bright blue full of tears of fear. I bit my lip and sprinted back down to the boy. When I had reached the bottom of the stairs, there was a deafening BOOM! I flew across the room and hi my head on one of the barrels. I don’t remember what happened after that, I was out cold, nor do I remember what happened to the boy I didn’t sea him again. Did he survive? I don’t know, maybe just maybe I’ll find out one day.

    • ouapicture
      Posted at 09:39h, 14 January Reply

      This is brilliant, Lola. Great pace and I love the little extras, like the Father not wanting him to be a sailor. It’s a well-written piece and I grew to care about your character. Well done – I look forward to reading more from you! 🙂

    • Julie Towers
      Posted at 21:31h, 16 January Reply

      Lola this is inspiring and exciting I want to hear more

      • Sue Kelvey
        Posted at 23:31h, 18 January Reply

        That piece of writing is fantastic Lola…lots of description and feeling! Well done you!!

  • Filomena walker
    Posted at 23:14h, 18 January Reply

    Wow! Well done Lola! I was gripped from the beginning.

  • Jenny pickering
    Posted at 06:48h, 19 January Reply

    Absolutely amazing Lola! 😊😊

  • Claire Wright
    Posted at 08:15h, 19 January Reply

    Wow really gripping. Just wish you had written then whole book. Well done Lola

  • Ruth upson
    Posted at 09:28h, 19 January Reply

    What a fantastic read , maybe the next J K Rowling in the making . I can’t wait for the next chapter as my imagination is doing overtime .

  • Mrs. Smalley
    Posted at 19:23h, 23 January Reply

    This is such a fantastic piece, Lola! I’m so proud of you. Now, get on with the next part and then ‘maybe, just maybe’ I’ll find out whether he did indeed survive…

    Mrs. Smalley

  • Hannah
    Posted at 12:37h, 08 February Reply

    I watch ships sale by in the ever growing ocean i don’t understand if i don’t move because i’m not programmed to or if i’m not real.it gets more and more lifeless my eyes flicker water blue i star into the oblivious ocean.maybe?Probably not? But there might?i might as well?i will?its time.

  • Adamm
    Posted at 23:38h, 21 May Reply

    Nice its very inspirational 🙂

Post A Comment